Oh lord, new worry, what if I'm a narcissist.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_Personality_Disorder

"NPD is considered to result from a person’s belief that he or she is flawed in a way that makes the person fundamentally unacceptable to others [8]. This belief is held below the person’s conscious awareness; such a person would typically deny thinking such a thing if questioned."

It doesn't fit altogether, I definitely believe I am flawed and fundamentally unacceptable but I am consciously aware of it and would not deny thinking such a thing if asked. I try to avoid any grandiosity, but sometimes I do have these cocky internal feelings. I do need lots of reassurance. I *get* tons of reassurance. I get told I'm great and I feel ashamed hearing it because I truly don't believe I'm great. Do people tell me I'm great all the time just because I go about fishing for it all the time? Perhaps I secretly seek to be told that all the time and that's why I hear it all the time?

Whatever's wrong with me I have the feeling it's one of those where I'd have to be locked up in a mental ward having myself brainwashed for 5 years in order to come out cured. Haha.

Here I am trying to seek narcissistic supply in the form of people telling me, "No, Denise, you're not a narcissist". haha. Well I'll disallow comments just to make myself appear less of a narcissist. There's no avoiding it really though.


Prayer for the Paranoid

Denise Sawicki posts whatever she feels able to post without serious consequences Read more »

Now I remember why I live in North Dakota

It got hot all of a sudden the last few days, or what passes for hot in ND in early April (50s). It's like a spring break video out there, people prancing around in bikinis yelling "woo"... OK not quite but there is a marked change in demeanor. Go »

Would you like the receipt with you, or in the bag?

I don't really understand why people ask this. Doesn't it take longer to ask this question and wait for the answer than to just let the person do what they please with the receipt? Oh well. Go »

Sewing Project?

So... we are into this goofy show "The Prisoner" lately and decided we want to go as people from that show for Halloween. That is, assuming anyone invites us to a party of any kind. Go »

Sorry about that extra tall image

Sorry I screwed up the obsessions page with that tall image. But it is true, I have a new obsession. Gee... Go »

Office Party

Last weekend we went to an office party at my boss's lake house. We took Philip and he got along famously with my boss's dog, Willow, who is half greyhound and half husky. I like Willow quite a bit. Go »

Halloween

We got some pretty scary masks at KMart. Darrin went as a "Crypt Creature" and Darrell went as a werewolf. That is actually me in the skeleton mask but you'd never guess from this picture. Go »