Recent conversation with Brenda:

(After a massage and dinner as a birthday gift from her sister) me: How was everything?

Brenda: I'm gonna be sore for the next few days. I made the mistake of asking for medium pressure.

me: I guess each massage parlor has its own definition of pressure like restaurants have for medium rare. Now the massage parlor I go to...

Brenda: I don't want to hear about the massage parlor you go to.

me: But they're the best! I think they invented the extremely localized shiatsu massage technique. They use it to squeeze bills from your wallet. Where was dinner?

Brenda: Don Pablo's (a local mexican restaurant).

me: I hope dinner was after the massage 'cause if you eat mexican and then have a beefy swedish lady squeeze you...

Brenda: Dinner was after the massage so stop now.

me: I'm just sayin'. So what was the massage lady wearing?

Brenda: I'm going away now.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

The Real Colon Blow Cereal

Holy metaphors, Batman! This recent All-Bran commercial from Kellogg's touts its ability to aid one in shitting enough bricks to build a barbecue. Go »

Burning Microwave Popcorn

This guy puts all kinds of different crap in the microwave and films the results. My favorite is the eggs. Go »

How Many Strange Businesses Can One Little Town Have?

Bowie is just a hole-in-the-wall kinda town but it's full of proud residents. I like it a lot. But man, we've got quite a few odd businesses. Go »

End Of The Year Post 2007

Some of the most interesting Year In Perspective lists I found. Top Ten News Stories. Top 5 Fails. Go »

Real Life Comedy/Tragedy

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: Why did you marry me? Brenda: Because you're funny, Me: I thought it was because I was good in bed. Brenda: You see? Go »

Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know, but you know deserves it. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. Go »