I'd like to get a part-time job now that I'm retired but can't seem to find any long-lasting energy (Damn MS!). Brenda suggested being a Wal-Mart greeter.
"That doesn't take a lot of energy," she remarked.
I responded, "Oh, really? You have no idea."
I live in a fairly urban area but we have a few trailer parks and crackervilles nearby. Given my low tolerance of rudeness, I shared with Brenda how I imagined what would happen after only a few hours on the job.
A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman would walk into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
I'd say pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The ugly woman would stop yelling long enough to say, "Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or stupid?"
I'd reply, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am. I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart."
My supervisor would, no doubt, say I probably wasn't cut out for this job.


One Reply to Have a Nice Day!

Scott Hardie | December 9, 2021
You'd be too distracted on the job by keeping a mental list of every weirdo you encountered so that you could blog about them later. :-)


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Unspoken Cultural Differences

Various hand gestures mean different things, depending on where in the world you happen to be. This guide to unspoken communication may be invaluable to those globetrotters out there. Go »

Such As It Is...

Best stuff I found this week. Christmas stuff you either can't afford or shouldn't buy anyway. Spectacular pieces of sculpture made from the incredible, edible egg. Go »

Great Moments In Sign Hacking

If only I had had my camera... The Washington Beltway is similar to other major national highways in that it has several LED signs displaying messages to commuters. Silver alerts, orange alerts, missing children BOLOs, etc. Go »

Vanity Plate

I saw a blue Toyota Rav 4 with a vanity plate SINGPLY. What the hell does that mean? StING PLoY? Go »

There Really Are Superheroes

And most of them wear capes. Oddee does a nice roundup of ten real-life superheroes - people who actually dress up in costume and prowl their respective cities with a willingness to foil criminals and their crimes. While you may question their sartorial wisdom, you gotta admire their desire to make a difference. Go »

Goo Con III

What a fantastic time! Matt is truly one of the most gregarious, fun-loving and genuine people I know. Denise and Kelly were completely charming (of course!). Go »