I've been trying to save up for a new computer for the last few years, but bigger purchases like a wedding and medical emergencies kept consuming the funds. This past weekend, I finally broke down and bought a cheap but still quite powerful Windows 7 machine on Newegg, because I could no longer stand my old Windows XP machine.

How old was it? I bought it back when Windows XP was brand new! It was 2002, and I was a recent college graduate just starting his new life in Florida. What was top-of-the-line then became excruciatingly slow today: Trying to open more than two tabs in Chrome caused it to hang for several minutes. Opening Photoshop 7 took five minutes. Opening The Sims 2 took twenty minutes. Any video playing on a web page tended to freeze the entire browser (I was not a happy camper when The Onion and A.V. Club started auto-playing videos on the right sidebar of every article). Using this computer was painful, and I was a patient man for a long time, but enough was enough.

I'm still working on setting up the new machine and transferring files (slowly) from the old one. This has taken up most of my time this week, and it has affected the site: The goo game has seen a run of mostly hard goos this week because the queue is running low and I'm still setting up the software to make new easy goos. I haven't been able to fix a known glitch in Rock Block's start-a-concert form because I'm still copying over Funeratic's files from the old machine. It's weird having my hands tied behind my back like this as a site admin. I hope to finish the process this weekend, in time to add ten more items to The History of Funeratic for the site's anniversary.

There is one permanent change to the site as a result of me changing computers: Celebrity goos will no longer be made with Kai's Power Goo. That ancient software was written for Windows 95! I managed to find a fan-made port for Windows XP when I bought the last computer in 2002, and it has served us well ever since, but I have no hope of running that program on this new 64-bit machine today. There are numerous similar programs online, as Chris and Justin and Lori and Samir know from creating their own goos recently, and I'm sure that we'll barely notice a difference. They'll still be called goos, even if the name isn't technically correct any more.

Thanks for your patience with some tough goos this week while I set up my new machine. Here's hoping that I finally get the computer that I really want before this cheap replacement becomes twelve years old.


One Reply to Goodbye, Kai

Scott Hardie | October 25, 2014
I see that Joanna has a goo request in the system too. I need to catch up on pending requests. I need to catch up on a lot of things asap. :-)


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Great Weekend

Some people love going fishing all weekend; others prefer a romantic getaway. The perfect weekend for me these days means getting enough sleep and writing a FIN post from start to finish, since getting even one of those is a rarity. But this weekend, I put everything else aside and did both. Go »

Flak Album

Lately I've been enjoying Aimee Mann's I'm with Stupid. Oh, how I wish she'd saved that title for a duets album. Go »

Year of Disney

Kelly's been suggesting for a long time that we invest in annual passes to Disney World, since we live two hours' drive away. I finally wised up and listened to her, as some number-crunching showed that we would only need to spend three days there for the passes to pay for themselves. We placed the order and called it a Christmas gift to each other. Go »

Members of an Elite Squad

When I started watching Law & Order: Special Victims Unit a year ago (!!), I predicted that I would never write about its good episodes because it was a mediocre series. Along the way, it turned out to have plenty of mediocre hours and some lousy ones, but it had a lot more good or even great hours than I expected. Go »

In Love, in Tampa

Last night we took in a special show by Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman for Valentines Day. Kelly is a huge fan of both and I was happy to take her to see them. I did not start the evening as a Palmer fan, but I was one by the time it ended. Go »

Toothiness, Or: More Bad Dental Humor

You know what company makes my favorite commercials? Oral-B. (link) (link) The camera careens inside the "Oral-B Institute," where a legion of white-coated scientists look sternly at interactive hologram displays and lasers carve out futuristic technology inside reactor chambers. Go »